Years ago when I was younger and more energetic, I spent most of my weekends out dancing up the floors with my friends. When we were out it was my married friend’s goal to see how many men she could get to dance with her, buy her drinks. To me this seemed as if this explained how well of a night out she had by how well she bragged the next day. Now I enjoyed my nights out, and yes I did have guys buy the occasional drink, but my favorite nights out were when I was too busy dancing to notice anything else. Now one of these weekends my friend and I were out celebrating how single I was after leaving a four year relationship. It was great, but I had men constantly asking me to dance, to drink or my number. I felt awkward, I didn’t want this attention! My friend got mad that I wasn’t out flirting up attention, and was actually turning down good attention, but I was severely confused. All these guys seemed harmless but I felt awkward that I knew half of them were only out trying to score a good time, and I wasn’t! I didn’t want to be selling what wasn’t for sale, and I realized that everytime I was approached for a dance was something that bothered me alot. I remember one night I ended up hiding in the DJ booth with my friend picking hits of the 90’s to avoid the bump and grind of the new age.
Again a few weekends later there was a grand birthday party for an old bachelor in the town. As the night wore on they ended up merging with our little gaggle, and the boys were all begging me to dance only for the birthday boy, as it was his night out and he deserved a good time. Now again, I ain’t this type of girl who goes bouncing around for a good time, and felt extremely awkward again. My friend drags me outside giving me a lecture about how I need to live it up and not having a guy by my side has apparently taken the risk out of my life. She stalked off pissed off that I was ruining her good time, as in fact, she was married and loves going home knowing how many guys she could have hooked up with, or how many hearts she has broken.
As I think about my friends words, its not that I was afraid of a good time, I’m just not the type to be dragging along guys because it makes me feel good, I like to have all the cards on the table. Having any thought enter a guys head that there is a chance, when there isn’t, I feel is lieing. Again, maybe I was raised wrong, but then again…
So here I am, four years later, married but I still enjoy going out with the girls, a different group now that I am in a different town and stage of life. A few weeks ago I was out with my brother in law tearing up the local pubs for happy hour and dancing up the floor. now, I ended up chatting with a man and his old man who were out celebrating his 60th birthday. The young one ended up asking me to take his old man for a dance, my first line was ‘I hope theres a clear understanding that we are out for a fun time but I aint a good time kind of girl’. The younger man smiled at me then said ‘ He’s been divorced, all his other kids are out of town and he’s all alone in life, can you make his night by giving him a few dances with a beautiful young woman?” At this I had to smile, and spent the next few hours celebrating this guys birthday, then his son took his staggering butt home in a cab. It was a good time, and I realized that yes, I am much happier in life knowing that I have a partner to come home to at the end of the day, but at the same time of knowing the whole story when all the cards are on the table.
Will I back away at the next song? Or will I have the next dance?