Sitting in the doctors waiting office you tend to observe many other people and their habits, or their behaviors. Sometimes it can be a real interest to see others and their good behaviors, sometimes, you have to cringe. Today, unfortunately, was a cringing day.
As I was waiting, in the room was a man in a wheelchair with his wife, and a mother and her 3-4 year old son. As I watching him, it stunned me. The boy was bored, his mother tried to ply him with tickling games when he came near her, and he would sullenly walk away. When he came back she tried to get him to sit with her, he screamed NO then walked away again. When he came back he struck at his mother (with his fist), she looked at him with a singsong voice “no hitting. want to play a game on my phone?” he screamed no, and stalked away. He came back again every few minutes, would hit her or kick at her, and her reply always ‘no hitting, want a treat?” or ‘don’t kick, what should we buy grandma”. My mind was fuming! How could this mother allow this child to strike at her, and not talk, punish or even deal with her child? What was she teaching him?
Now, you could say that this was a good mother for not freaking out, storming out, threatening her child, or hitting him back, but what was he learning? He was learning that from using violence that he was to be rewarded with treats or games.
Another act that still bothers me, my husband and I were out buying things for our house at Bed Bath and Beyond. As we walk into the curtain section, toys suddenly come flying over the shelves and just about rain upon us. We turn to see who was causing the trouble and out come two ten year old kids, flinging dog toys at each other like its a snowball fight outside. A motherly like person walks around the corner, calming stating ‘toys are not for throwing, not come along”. She proceeds to carry on to the kitchen section, while the kids continue to pelt each other with dog toys. What are you teaching your children when you choose not to put your words into action? Yes, she could be claimed for keeping calm, letting children be children, and encouraging self play. However, this is a continual trend that has been allowed to propser because parents, or guardians, are to tired of parenting, too tired of dealing with the stress of the continual attention of the child, letting the child pervert their own future and guided skills.
Parents, take the time to infuse the listening and respect skills that the future will need, for if you let a child grow up not listening, not respecting, or choosing to have bad mannerisms… what will they pass on to their future offspring?