Big Decion, or lack of giving a ….?


Kids.  Everyone is having them. Heck, some people are so unfazed by the thought of kids they will blissfully seek out coatis (yes, I went there) without a second thought of the consequences.  There are people who try for years because they want their lives to revolve around kids, families, and passing on their genes, traditions and their mannerisms.  There are some who assume that once they get married, they are to have kids.

Then why I am the only one who is terrified at the thought of the life sucking, time consuming, burping, pissing, shitting little wonders that I know I will love but am so consumed by the thought of what could go wrong that I cannot be happy about the thought?

Oh I have looked around to different sites, or blogs, other peoples thoughts, and it made me laugh some of the time where I read bout how others are so blissfully happy to actually be pregnant, then it hits them “I’m almost done my pregnancy! Then Ill have an infant… oh crap!”…. its not the pregnancy that scares me, hell if I could just experience that and forget it I would! But its the thought of bringing another person, or two, into this world, that scares the hell out of me.  It surprises me that people forget that sex multiplies… and sometimes I feel idiotic that I am the only person around me that seems to understand this.  I know of four girls who have gotten pregnant on the birth control I am on…. they blame the BC.  I look at them and their habits, they were too busy having fun to actually take their pill responsibly with their spouse… or they weren’t and want to have an escape goat. Gah… there I go again… people wanting so badly to reproduce they will use any excuse or mishap!….

Am I the only one!? Yes, I am married, and yes we have talked about children and what our thoughts are, I do wish for a family, and I am hoping that once we get to the point, or the birth, that I will be much more comforted, I am still shocked at how a lot of people around me, are too much absorbed in self satisfaction to take a moment and think about the actual motions they are putting into place. Its going to take a lot of time, space, love, hope and sacrifice.  Children are not to be taken lightly. 

Disclaimer: Lol not sure if I am looking for advice, a good comment back, a friend in common, a sharp smack of reality, or just a moment to freak out…



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