7 Year Itch 3 Year Glitch

I’ve heard it from movies, books, friend.  A turning point in relationships where people stop working, start giving up, or moving on.  I’ve heard from others “we married in our 20’s, and then we hit thirty and moved unto our own separate paths”.  Ive seen marriages fail after five years, two years, one.

Not everything that is bonded will last.

Not everything that is promised is kept.

But last night I had a dream.  I was at a big work site, and met a guy, so charming, we had an immediate connection.  After working with this guy for several days I could hardly see myself not hanging with him.  As we were being transported back home he gave me a hug and said ‘if only you weren’t married, I would be with you right now’. Married…. married? Yes, in my dream I was married.  Yes, then I went home, and saw this guy who I didn’t know, who I could hardly understand let alone care for.  Who didn’t care that I walked in the door.  “If only you weren’t married” echoed in my head.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Alarm, I roll over, and see my husband.  We have been together for 7 years, married for four. I loved him.  Even though we have been together passed the three year glitch, the four year snooze, the seven year itch.  We still find ways to make sex fun, to hang out in the evenings, to give each other space, and then smile when we walk in the door.  Though I don’t always like his past or his mistakes, I promised to love and always help.  I wanna see him grow old.  Unlike my dream, I’m not married to some guy.  I married the one I couldn’t be without, and we will fight the 7 year itch 🙂

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Shawl to Shrug!

I made a shawl for my cousins wedding about 7 years ago, and it was a terrible yarn that kept breaking as I knit, it was too square and too rough.  I wore it with pride though!

But lately I wanted to wear a shrug, but I wasn’t happy with any pattern, and with how busy I am with orders, I knew I didn’t have the time to commit.  Then I recalled my old shawl, and saw a pattern for a shrug! Bingo

I picked up the sides, knit along a circular knitting needle with a soft creamy color, and two days later I had a shrug! Comfy and it came up exactly as I hoped!

How to Understand Infertility: A Story

Imagine, if you can, if you will, that you are a post graduate student.  You have studied, taken courses, passed exams, all with flying colors, in your chosen field. In fact, you were the student that usually helped others on with their assignments, you seemed to be an expert no matter what.  This was in the bag! You were meant to do this!

Fast forward the summer after graduation,  you got a job lined up, its fantastic.  You cant wait to begin, you just have to ace the interview.  You show up on time, day of, dressed to impress.  You get ushered into the office, the new boss seems fantastic.  As usual you seem to pass with flying colors, afterwards they want to check a few last things, and you are asked to have  a seat.  The door closes and you can hear hushed voices. Suddenly out of the blue a swaggering nobody, dressed like the streets, comes waltzing in.  They give you a sarcastic, happy but obviously swirling on luck, look and go to the door, in the door and the door closes. Loud exclamations come from inside, cheering, like its the party you’ve been waiting for.  After a few minutes the boss kicks his head out “uh… position filled, you can go… don’t leave your resume”.  Door slams.  In a confused, dazed state you are torn between yelling at the boss that YOU deserve this job, YOU were meant for this job, what the HECK just happened!!!!  The secretary laughing comes out from the room and sees you standing in a daze. She obviously thinks you know what happened “OMG didn’t you hear! Hashtag awesome, this person, no experience, no education, she just got here, and its going to work out! Why are you still here? Do you know where the door is?”

Walk out

Go home

Try and figure out the next step

You did everything right, you passed the exams.  You were the best choice…. why did that other person get it? Its not fair, its not right

 

That ‘s life.  The woman who passes all the fertility exams, who is told by the doctors they are perfectly healthy, they can conceive, yet for months, years, they sit by and watch other people get their job, their career, their mother hood.  They may just have the luck, the timing, or heck maybe they weren’t even trying or expected to.

How do you behave, act, carry on, when every day other people, maybe just as experienced, or having none, get your job? That you dream of, yearn for, die for?

Good luck, we are all rooting for you.