My History Repeating Itself

why

I was having a great chat on the phone with an old friend past Wednesday night. It was when I was going over my past terrible drama with work, and discussing past history, that I realized history had repeated itself. This time, again, I was taking the blame for a situation that really didnt affect the world around us, but I was drug through the mudd and called dumb as such. Lets go back.

“Common, its almost lunch time!” My friend called to me as we crossed the road to the high school across the street. Of course, the high school had the vending machines. We were going across to get chips for her. As her best friend it was my job to get the chips for her. The money I had was actually for swimming that afternoon, but she told me that if I sneak in with the rest of the group, then I wont be noticed, or have to pay. Therefore, my loonie was better spent on her, as I was her Best friend. After punching the buttons into the machine, she selected what she was getting, and we rushed back across the quiet street of our town. As we strolled back in the hallway, suddenly our third grade teacher stepped into the hallway… dah dah DAHAHAHAHAH…

“What are you girls doing?”

“Uh.”

“Well…”

“We havent even said grace yet and you are out of the building?” suddenly, my friend pipes up…

“Its not my fault, she makes me spend her dollar-”

“What dollar?”

“Her swimming dollar on snacks”… well after that lets just say it got bad. So I got blamed for convincing her to come with me to buy snacks… The situation being I was told I had to go and spend my dollar to buy her snacks (which she said was for me, I never got to eat them) that I ate and was sneaking into the pool without paying. So my punishment? In school suspension for a week. I remember afterwards how if I went near the other girls in the school I was ignored for trying to tell on her. After my week of in school suspension, the other girls would come near me and mock me for trying to tattle tale, or they would blow dandelions in my face as a sign of being below their status. What did this teach me? That I cannot trust others for their intentions.

This year I got pinned by an investigation by a co-worker that quit, then called a complaint that resulted in me being blamed and ignored by other girls who she had under her arm for the past three months!! Now I am under supervision, unable to close or open shop (which is fantastic in some ways), all because some girl couldn’t talk through her issues, come forward with what she thought was wrong, or even talk to me? Point being? I cannot trust others for their intentions. Twenty years later and people are still untrustable.

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Say What?

 

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I realize that there are some quotes that have lost meaning, are too good to be true or just do not make sense. There are a few that I do like “Everything happens for a reason”, for in life I believe that to be happy you have to understand how it is to be sad. I believe that to understand health, you have to have sickness, and to understand love, you have to have lived pain.

Now, one quote that I do not understand that I see a lot is “A person hates you/dislikes you because 1. they want to be you, 2. they do not like themselves, 3. They see you as a threat”. Now, I realize in life there are people you are not going to like, but has it ever been because you want to be them? There are people in life that I would never wish to see again because I despise the choices they have made, the people they have hurt, and the lies they spread. Do I see them as a threat? No, I see them as too dumb to deal with themselves and see them as a waste of space. Or, as my first quote, I needed to meet these people so I would know what real friends were. I needed to fall for the wrong guy, so when I met the right one it would be for all the right reasons. I have been hated, and the only thing that quote does, is tell me that the person obviously stuffed garbage down my pants because she wanted to be the nerdy bookworm of the school (right? O.o) and the one who hated me and mocked me obviously was threatened, even though she told me that she could do both of our jobs without my assistance. I do not believe this quote to be anything but a nice lie to help those who are being bullied, hated or otherwise disliked, to look upon the other person with a status of entitlement, that you have a right to let that person hate you. Hate isn’t what makes this world a better place.

Sometimes, a quick talk to discuss difference, open closed doors or try to learn to be friendly is what’s needed. Sometimes though, someone is just not going to like you, and that’s just how it is. For, as it has been said before, “your not going to please everybody, the best thing to do, is just please yourself”. So instead of beating yourself up about someone who doesn’t care about you, start caring about yourself, stop stressing about something that isn’t going to change, and start finding a better passion in life!

Good luck 🙂