Not hard, not soft, like a jam!

I was a waitress at a restaurant that served eggs for every meal, which was great for graveyard workers, or late night partiers.  I have many stories, mightmares and laughs, but one stuck out this morning as I was making my breakfast.

We had this girl that at least once a month would come in and order the same thing.  Now, I don’t mind typical customers, and if you enjoy something, its a treat to try it again! But, it was how she ordered it that has always stuck with me. So heres seen, all day breakfast restaurant, typical waitress waiting on customers, in walks twenty something girl and her friend. Waitress sits them down, and goes to get their drinks.

“Alright ladies, here are your drinks”

“Alright, ill get eggs benedict, fruit cup, ham, oh, and I want my eggs, not hard, not soft, like a jam.”

“Ok, gotcha…” take her friends order, and carry on.  Go to the back, and type in over medium.  Ladies enjoy their lunch, praise the food, leave.

Next month, girls arrive.  Same explanation about the eggs. So I turn back

“Ok, eggs over medium-”

“No, no no…. not hard, not soft, like a jam!

Gotcha.

Same thing next month, so again I try to explain to her that what she wants is over medium, that she doesn’t have to explain it every time.

“No, its not.  I don’t want it hard, or soft. Like a jam!”

So, realizing that you can’t fix stupid, I go to the back to type in her order.  This time when it prompts me to select wellness level of the egg, I hit *see note* and type in her explanation.  Thirty seconds later the cook sticks his head out , gives me a confused look.  I explain the antics of this specific customer, to which he replies:

“Eggs have been around for thousands of years, shes been around for two decades, and she figures we haven’t figured out a word for not hard, not soft, like a jam? Did you try and explain it?”

Well I tried to hint at it, time and again… sometimes you cant fix stupid.

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